Annnd we're back to reality {Soul II Soul's lyrics keep running through my head}. Thanks for sticking around and still reading after my two week sabbatical. In case you missed why I was away for so long, you won't be asking for long. The next few posts will most likely have to do with our wedding {mainly so that I can avoid reality just a little longer}.
I wanted to start by sharing a few tips from some things I learned in the planning. I'm sure there are way more than 10 things I could think of to tell a recently engaged bride, but after just stepping out of the wedding world, these are the top dawgs that were on my list.
Some things will go wrong but you'll still get married. Unless of course the thing that goes wrong is that your fiance doesn't show up. But then there's always the best man... Kidding!! Just remember that things are going to happen and it's probably not going to be exactly how you envisioned it. You will still get to marry the love of your life and isn't that all that matters in the first place?
I know, I know, when you're in the thick of it, marrying your best friend matters but so does the dress, and the music, and the food, and whatever else you've made a priority for your wedding. Just know that you can't plan for everything. For our wedding, we didn't plan on the entrance to our ceremony site being under construction. However, everyone made it to the ceremony just fine. We didn't plan on having two wedding crashers meander up to the bar at the reception. But that happened. Unfortunately, they didn't plan on having the bride tell them, in the nicest way a bride possibly could, to kindly leave the premises {who knew people really did that?!}. There are some things that you're not going to be able to prevent so just accept the situation, and do what you can to make the best of it.
Take a deep breath, a shot of tequila, and a good friend. These are intense! If you can survive, you will get a lot of free samples and ideas though. Plus, coupons for make-up trials, hair trials, teeth whitening, and all that jazz. What is not mentioned on the invite is the utter chaos, loud music {yes, I'm at that age now}, and mass of people, you will encounter. While I would have preferred a sharp stick in the eye at the time, I did come out with some good stuff after it was all said and done.
If you do register for a Bridal Expo, just be prepared to get numerous emails/phone calls from pretty much every wedding affiliate company out there. Some may be useful, though. For example, Brit and I got a free dance lesson. And we went {yea, just take that in for a minute}. It wasn't horrible. We dance like 7th graders at their first school dance so we had a thing or two to learn. However, it was going to cost close to $1,000 and take 3-4 lessons a week to get us "where we should be". So we danced like 7th graders on our wedding day.
I'm actually glad we went because now I know dance lessons are not something I ever want to pursue. And there was just no way I wanted to take the time, spend the money, or have the added pressure of a choreographed dance on our wedding day.
Coming from an organizing blogger, I realize this is a bit obvious, but I can't tell you enough how beneficial it is to be organized during the planning. Consider having a
Wedding Binder to keep printed documents and invoices organized.
A lot of the planning I did was via email. So I created a folder in my inbox dedicated specifically to the wedding planning, with subfolders for things such as music, photography, menu, etc. Also, I stored a lot of documents in the cloud, using websites like Dropbox.com or Google Drive, so I could have access to them whenever I needed to.
The document I accessed most was our Wedding Tracker. We used an excel spreadsheet to organize the guests, addresses, RSVPs, gifts received/thank you, etc. You can access a template of ours
here, but really it's best to organize yours in a way that makes sense and works best for
you. Sometimes using someone else's methods can increase stress, because instead of focusing on your table assignments, you're focusing on how this person would organize their table assignments.
Our splurges were the photographer and the band. These were things that were top on our list of priorities for the day so we decided early on that this is where we were ok with spending more than what is recommended. Since we were spending more in some areas, we knew we needed to save in others. Including a lot of DIY and using the talents of family members {I'll discuss this on a later date}, really helped us save some dough. Also, this made our wedding so much more personal and meaningful to us.
We also saved by choosing not to hire a wedding planner, although I think Brit would have preferred to hire one and hand off the chore list. In my opinion, I felt that hiring a planner was going to cost more money and cause more stress than just doing it myself. I'm not going to say that we had a stress free wedding process, but I do think we would have ended up spending a lot more if we would have hired one.
If your photographers offers it or if it comes with a package, I would highly, highly recommend doing it. Being in front of the camera can be very intimating and nerve wrecking. You don't want to feel that way on your wedding day. So if you have the opportunity, meet your photographer and have a small photo shoot before the big day. This will help you feel comfortable and beautiful on your wedding day.
Also, a big thing right now is the First Look shoot. Brit and I didn't do this because we really wanted that magical moment to take place while I was walking down the aisle, but we did make sure to take 10 minutes to ourselves after the ceremony {with the photographer snapping shots}. This was so wonderful! We were able to soak it all in, take a breath, and just enjoy the first moments of being married.
Vitamins and sleep aids. You won't sleep. I wish someone would have told us this. I personally do not like taking medication for anything. Even headaches, I typically wait until it's unbearable before I pop a couple Advil and get some relief. Don't ask me why I'm like this, it's weird and I realize this. It's just how I am. That being said, I wish that someone would have told me to take ZzzQuil the week before the wedding.
We didn't sleep well for the entire week before the big day. It was like Christmas Eve every-freaking-day. We wouldn't get to bed until really late {like after midnight}, then wake up super early {around 4 or 5am}. Honestly, I think it's because we were both so excited. But then you're awake, and it's not your wedding day, and so the excitement just continues into the next night and the entire cycle repeats... for days. I was so tired, at one point I went to put a piece of gum in my mouth and nearly bit into my lip balm. I went to put creamer in my coffee and almost added Pinot Grigio instead {not sure if that was exhaustion or wishful drinking}. I would have given anything for a good night's sleep, at least once, the week before the wedding.
My body was running on fumes and my immune system was sound asleep when we arrived in South Carolina for our wedding weekend. So, when my sick niece coughed directly into my mouth, thought it was funny and made a game of it, it was inevitable that sickness was heading my way. Luckily it waited until the day after the wedding {thank you!!}. I can't imagine if I would have been sick on our wedding day. That would have been so sad. So my advice, remember to take your vitamins, as well.
There are countless To-Do lists out there for brides and their weddings, some are ten items long, some are over 100! I love checklists but these even had my head spinning. I would get stressed about things that I really didn't need to get stressed about yet, or even at all.
I am not saying that these lists are bad, but just remember that not all weddings are the same so some items on the list may not apply to you and some of the timeframes might be a little off for your wedding. For example, invitations for a destination wedding should go out much earlier than local weddings. Also, if you get married in another state, you have to get your marriage license in that state. So it may not be possible to get your marriage license a month before your wedding {more like a day}. With whatever list you choose, read it carefully and be sure to make your own personal edits or additions. And don't get nervous if everything isn't done on time according to the list. There is a lot of pressure to finalize every detail right away, but remember to take a deep breath {and refer to number #9}.
As the bride, you will probably do most of the planning and organizing. No offense to grooms and family, but it just kind of happens that way. Because of this, you should make extra sure you have a buffer buddy. What is a buffer buddy? A buffer buddy is the person of contact during the day/week before your wedding. They're the person the vendors, guests, and others will be reaching out to, instead of you. As the bride you don't need to be worried about the construction at the ceremony site. Especially since there's nothing you can do about it. Let someone else take the worry and take care of the problem for you.
Be sure you tell your buffer buddy they are the chosen one, and be sure it's someone who has been involved in some of the wedding planning so they have some clue what's going on. Also, don't forget to give their information to everyone and explain that this is who to contact. I can't tell you how wonderful it felt to be able to say to people, don't ask me, ask my sister :)
This is one that I struggled with during our planning process. For some reason, I felt like we should do everything because it was our wedding. I realize now, that's silly. People
want to help! Don't be afraid to ask people to help out. Most of the time people will be more than happy to lend a hand in making your day special.
On the other hand, be very careful not to delegate too much. Try to remember that your wedding might be consuming your entire life right now, but everyone isn't necessarily in the same boat. If people aren't doing things according to
your timeline, that doesn't mean it's not getting done or that they don't care. They just might have other things going on as well, try to be considerate of this {or you might hear whispers of a bridezilla on the loose}.
Remember to relax. Brit and I went for a day at the spa the weekend before our wedding, which I highly recommend. It was a selfish birthday present from me, but I think he liked it. Even if you don't take a day at the spa, just take a moment for only the two of you prior to the day. We were both pretty stressed and tense as the day grew closer. We were, I'll say, bickering, even on our way to the spa. But just taking that time to relax and remind ourselves what the wedding is really about helped us tremendously. Plus, who doesn't feel better after a little rest and relaxation?
So those are my top 10 tips for brides. Can you think of other things that may be helpful for a bride? More to come next week!
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